Another Office Fanmix: Karen

[katiemariie]

Medium: Television
Subject: The Office (US)
Title: Jim Halpert Can Kiss My ***! A Love Letter from Karen Filippelli to Saint James Halpert
Warnings: Jim-bashing and JAM-bashing galore! Major Profanity.
Notes: This mix is what Karen listened to as she got over Jim. It's a bit Alanis in the beginning.






"Uncle Fucka" South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut
Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka...
You’re a cock sucking, ass licking, Uncle Fucka...
You’re an Uncle Fucka, yes it’s true...
Nobody fucks uncles quite like you!
Shut YOUR fucking face, Uncle Fucka...
You’re the one that fucked your uncle, Uncle Fucka...
You don’t eat or sleep, or mow the lawn...
Just fuck your uncle all day long!


"You're Pitiful" Weird Al
My life is brilliant
Your life's a joke
You're just pathetic
You're always broke
Your homemade Star Trek uniform
Really ain't impressin' me
You're sufferin' from delusions of
Adequacy

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
Never had a date
That you couldn't inflate
And you smell repulsive too
What a bummer bein' you


"I Must Be Emo" Hollywood Undead
And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thingy. Like that guy from that band can do. Some days, you know...

--

I'm dark, and sensitive with low self-esteem
The way I dress makes every day feel like Halloween
I have no real problems but I like to make believe
I stole my sister's mascara now I'm grounded for a week
Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
Girls keep breaking up with me, it's never any fun
They say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one




"Sports & Wine" Ben Folds Five
Destiny was calling
Monday afternoon
Wednesday you'll be crawling
And you'll pray to be there soon
With sports and wine

Some men never grew up
Fortunate like you
Some men never found out
What it takes to be a dude
That's Sports and Wine

The girls don't understand it
What you think is art
My oh my we're all impressed
How sensitive you are
Everybody's talkin' about you now
You know it's true
Always has been sports and wine for you

So you ask me how I think I know
Just what makes you tick
I know what I know y'know
I know you make me sick


"What's My Age Again" Blink-182
Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail
This state looks down on sodomy

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by prank phone calls
What the hell is call ID, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And you still act like you're in freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?




"Upside Down" Barenaked Ladies
I'm not surprised it's come to this
Sooner or later there must be another's kiss
Behind that kiss a promise of a life of bliss
Yeah, great
I won't be takin' the bait
I'd rather drown
And I will not turn my whole life upside down

Imagine everything you've done
Under a microscope on view for everyone
And if the King of Circumspection's here
He's come in vain
I won't be sharing the blame
I wear the crown
And I will not turn my whole life upside down

Nothing's good enough for me
To shake me from complacency
I make my mind up and I'll never be

The kind of man who'd make a choice
For if I hold my tongue I'll never lose my voice
If each attempted act of sabotage destroys all hope
I won't be needing a rope
I'm gagged and bound
And I will not turn my whole life upside down


"Don't Think of Me" Dido
So you're with her
and not with me
I hope she's sweet
and so pretty
I hear she cooks delightfully
a little angel beside you
So you're with her
and not with me
Oh how lucky one man can be
I hear your house
is small and clean
Oh how lovely with your homecoming queen
Oh how lovely it must be

When you see her sweet smile baby
Don't think of me
When she lays in your warm arms
Don't think of me




"Time" Ben Folds
Think of me
Anyway you want
I can be
The problem if that's easier
In your head
Move the pieces around
Things I've said
Turn the memory upside down

And it makes it better I know
But sometimes it's hard to swallow

In time I will fade away
In time I won't hear what you say
In time, but time takes time you know

Tell your friends
The things they wanna hear and see
Start the drums
Band against the enemy




"I Wish You Well" Josie and the Pussycats
I wish you well
I wish you love
I wish myself
all of the above


"Love is All Around" The Tea Queens
Who can turn the world on with her smile
Who can take a nothing day
and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile

Well it's you girl and you should know it
with each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around no need to waste it
You can have the town why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all


"So Much Better" Legally Blonde OCR
And I have turned my whole world
upside down,
trying not to let you go...
Watching you walk away
is like a fatal blow.

Wait
WHOA!

Is that my name up on that list?
Does someone know that I exist?
Am I awake?
Is this a mistake?
Look again to be sure...

---

Seeing my name up on that list
That beats the first time that we kissed
Behind you was hiding the whole world outside
And I've opened the door
Look at my name in black and white
It's like making love with you all night
NO WAIT!
It feels so much better
hello much better
its oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
much better
'cause I am so much better than before

--

My name up on that list
Sure beats the first that we kissed
Throw me out on the street
I get back on my feet
I'm completely hard core

I've got my name in black and white
And I have not begun to fight

--

I dreamed of your name next to my own
But mine's looking fine up there alone
Oh, wait where's my phone?
Mom's got to be shown
She will fall on the floor

HEY MOM!
Look at my name in black and white
Your daughter's doin' something right
And it feels so much better
hello, much better
I know how far I can go--much better
'Cause I am so much better than before!


The zip is here.